Vedant: Mr Swamy, I’ve got Kabir with me too. He is one of a kind, weirdly so though.
Kabir: Hello Mr Swamy.
Mr Swamy: (glanced at Kabir observing his fatigued image as if he had been sleepless for days together) Hello Kabir. Vedant told me you have some troubles. Tell me.
Kabir: I don’t feel excited about things people generally do. Everything seems meaningless. Even if I take interest in something enthusiastically, after a while, this thought send shivers across my body that Nothing I do matters in the grand scheme of things. That nothing matters – this thought terrifies me and seizes any happiness that could come my way. Not that it makes me sad but it just doesn’t let me be happy as well.
Mr Swamy: Have you heard the adage “The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master“? How long have you let your mind torment you like this?
Kabir: I don’t know. Ever since I have tried to make sense of everything, it is getting from bad to worse. I am a philonoist but this attribute has somehow backfired. The more I know something, the more I realize that there is a lot more that I don’t know. This just leads to more and more confusion and contributes to my misery.
Mr Swamy: (chuckles) Make sense of everything!!! So you know where the problem is. You seem to be like one who has always looked to search for the answer to the ultimate question – ‘What is the meaning or purpose of my life?’
Kabir: True indeed.
Mr Swamy: So, have you come to any conclusion?
Kabir: I’ve sought answer from many people. Some say ‘Life has no meaning; it’s an opportunity to make it meaningful‘. Most people seem to be satisfied with this answer but not me. People merely conceal their own questions from themselves. This makes them boring to me. It just doesn’t make sense to me. So I perpetuate the pursuit.
Mr Swamy: There are very few who have the zeal for the ultimate truth. But only a handful are able to achieve it. The path is tormenting, accompanied by many emotional breakdowns and conundrums; you have to go through the nastiest storms and the wildest of the fires havocing your mind, but once you are there, it’s ecstasy. No drug, no amorous activity, no other success or any other materialistic thing can provide you that contentment. It’s like falling into a vast abyss of happiness and pleasure.
Kabir: I wonder if it is still worthy to go through all that pain in the pursuit of the ultimate truth but then my mind has left me no other option.